say no to clowns

ebullient decay…

Post Vocalic Stress Disorder — September 8, 2016
I’m not sure what this is… — April 26, 2017
“stainache” — April 25, 2017
friendship and love and all those good things —
mnemonic — April 24, 2017
hearing the door not slam — April 23, 2017
searching for herself — April 21, 2017
Tinkerbell’s song —
charades — April 20, 2017
evanescent — April 19, 2017
fugue —
“she remains…” — April 18, 2017
Depression Sucks. —

Depression Sucks.

For my dear friends who struggle with this, (and I have too) and for the people who love you, important words so beautifully and honestly expressed.

Strong Humble Warriors

I don’t want to talk.

I need rest.

I need silence.

The thoughts in my mind are overwhelming. They won’t stop. My life is a constant battle of outside voices competing with internal thoughts. It’s too much.

I don’t know how, but I need rest.

I’m lonely, but I can’t silence the storm of thoughts in my mind when another voice is in my ear; so I shut everyone out and feel relieved when they finally walk away.

I don’t mean to hurt feelings, but I need silence.

I don’t want anyone around because the tension that radiates from their discomfort with silence is even worse than being forced to talk.

I know they mean well, but I need rest.

I don’t need to lay down in the sense that it’s been a long day. I need to disappear for a while in the sense that it could be fatal…

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parting ways —
Why… — April 17, 2017
Lazy easter weekend share — April 16, 2017
one day, while scrubbing away the rust on expectations, we met someone new-ish — April 15, 2017
the aching sweetness of pierce… —
profile — April 14, 2017
He Rebuilds a Lost Sister — April 12, 2017

He Rebuilds a Lost Sister

I’ve been re reading a few blogs, gosh, it’s overwhelming how much talent there is out there! But I keep thinking of this. It’s profoundly moving. I’ve never personally experienced this grief, but I know some of you have. I think this is really special, Stephen.


I am all lost in the supermarket
While I look for my special Lego
Creation lost somewhere between
The gummies and the hot dogs.

Mommy looked all over the supermarket
She can’t find it but that is okay,
I can build another one, I know.
I know I can build another one.

I’ll need two shoulders and arm pieces
A chest shield, two legs and feet
One hand will wield the best sword
In the bin. This new creation will be cooler –

It will be the coolest. I am
Almost done building my new
My best! creation yet. But I cannot
Find the right mask.

I must have the right mask.
I cannot find the mask.
Daddy help me find a mask.

Daddy I just want my creation to sit up.
Daddy I just want my creation to take its first step.
Daddy I just want my creation to…

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get thee behind me, clown, but don’t push (part two, accidentally) —